I was stuck in traffic when a road sign set me dreaming. If the places on it were people, what would they be like? Could Leigh Delamere be anything but the glamorous heiress to a biscuit-making fortune?

Stuck in traffic in the Wiltshire town of Chippenham, I chanced upon a road sign to Christian Malford and Sutton Benger. Placenames that could be people are dotted across our green and pleasant land – it’s charmingly British, somehow. Waiting to escape Friday night rush hour, I found a persona for Christian Malford taking shape. I had him down as a child actor in one of the early Harry Potters. Sutton Benger was more of a stretch, but I settled on a precociously talented young footballer of Anglo-Norwegian heritage. He signed for Chelsea with great fanfare, but never really made the grade. Poor chap.

The traffic moved on, but my mind didn’t. Once on the M4, I was soon passing Leigh Delamere, the glamorous heiress of an American biscuit-making fortune, now fallen on hard times.